"Well, I'm no hero...but I wish that I could be."

Hola, Xanga!  Happy Tuesday....to YOU!  Well, like I said last time, I quit the job and I'm hanging around back home for a couple of days before school starts.  It's fun being back home, and remembering how my family communicates to one another ; by screaming their heads off.  Fun fun fun.

One of the great things about returning home is the fact that my family has digital cable which gives us 200+ channels of pure delight.  The last few days I've learned so much from this glorious machine.  Like how Gwen Stefani now has 4 Asian girls who follow her around everywhere, Garfield the movie is an abomination to cinema and fat cats everywhere, TV'S Blossom got hella big (ha!  Take that Ashley!), mini-marathons of South Park are just as awesome without alcohol, the Snapple lady is showing too WAY TOO MUCH skin on Celebrity Fit Club, Mtv still sucks, for some reason the Fairly Odd Parents makes me laugh, Vh1 stills show reruns of "I love the XX's",  I really miss "Adult Swim", and Rocky in Spanish is goddamned hilarious.  I captured a screen shot for you :

"Aye, no me gusta...ADRIAANNN!!!!"

Yea, once again...I'm back home.  And here I don't have the ability to photoshop Rocky in the hilarious fashion that I wanted to.  MS Paint didn't really do too much either...like I really needed to tell you.  For those of you wondering, that is supposed to be a sombrero.  I didn't dress the Italian Stallion up in his Sunday best.  I might change it later...but I'm lazy.  This marks Sly's 648th appearance on this page for those who lost count.  Meh.  I apologize to Sylvester Stallone and his family.

And today's topic of discussion shall be...the boob tube.  There are so many new shows out there and you NEED someone to set things straight and tell you what's good, and what thing you need to stay the hell away from.

boob

Tube

First up, we have Tommy Lee's show Tommy Lee Goes to College.  How do you know that name, you ask?  Well, he's the drummer for the 80's cock rock band, Motley Crue.  If you didn't know that, he was the lead singer for Methods of Mayhem.  And if you didn't recognize him by that, his sex tape with Pamela Anderson sold millions due to his gigantic schlong.  OH, THAT TOMMY LEE! Yea...well, this show looks promising as Tommy Lee as the show paints him as a complete dumbass who will fuck everything up.  He struggles with studying, trying to make classes, and live the basic college life.  You know, he's just like you and me.  Except wherever he goes, he has tons of girls throwing themselves at him.  Plus, if the college thing doesn't work, he has a band to tour with that has sold over 50 million albums.  Yea, just like you and me...*cough*  Plus, his tutor (ha!) is hawt.  I'd give it another episode till she drops her panties for Tommy Lee's broom stick.  This has failure written all over it, and seeing that Motley is on tour with Tommy right now, I'd say I was right.

And while we're talking aging rockers, Gene Simmons from KISS has his own show eentitled Gene Simmons Rock School.  In this one, Gene Simmons has been brought to a English boarding school and it's his task to turn a bunch of 13 year olds into "mini-rock gods"and have them open up for metal legends Motorhead.  For those who know, I am a HUGE KISS fan and know what kind of an obnoxious, arrogant prick Gene can be...and soon, so will all of America.  This one seems like it could be fun giving the fact that the children are OBLIVIOUS to rock music and their music tastes are more Ludwig Von Beethoven, not Eddie Van Halen ( I might of stolen that from the show, but...meh.).  My favorite part in all this is when the little red head kid who speaks Elvish starts to sing the horrific KISS tune "Crazy Nights".  Gene Simmons will whore out KISS till the day he dies.  So far, this show isn't as bad as I expected, in fact, it's actually watch able.  Sometimes it's not just about a matter of good taste, just making sure that it tastes good.

  Andy Milonakis.  I have no clue how to explain this show without saying words like "shite", "retarded", and/or "which farking idiot decided to put this on TV?"  At first, I thought that this show was okay because it was just a fat 14 year old playing towards other 14 year olds.  Preteen boys everywhere had a hero!  And then somebody told me that Andy was born in 1976.  Wait, wait, wait...that would make him...29 years old?!?  I'm at a loss of words.  So, we have a 30 year old man on TV, eating shampoo and putting pancakes on his face.  Yup.

Robot Chicken.  What more do I have to say besides that ------>

Too bad that I have to go home tomorrow.  I need to make friends with people that have cable, dammit!  Why must I know nothing but poor people?  Oh well.

See ya soon.

miggo "the broke" zero

P.S.  I still can't figure out how to stretch over my new layout to my comments page...any help is appreciated.

-miggo_zero